Trying To Remember

Trying To Remember You

I still recall sliding under the covers,

as I fell into sleep

with the essence of your arms

draped tenderly around me.

I can still remember dark nights,

waking from a dream

and your soul would be lying

gently next to me.

I can still remember a time

when I would wake and your name

would be dancing upon my lips.

I remember thoughts of you

as I tried to hold off the inevitable,

the rising from gentle slumber

with the sun’s first rays.

I can still remember a time

when long drives to work on smooth country roads

were filled with images of you,

your smile, your words, your love for me.

I can still recall the days

when my mind would drift from the conference room,

the meeting at hand,

and I would feel us dancing above the table.

I can still remember

arriving home to your words,

your essence,

your soul touching mine

in the deep hours of the night,

your love,

the joy of my love for you.

Now, my memory is only of those memories.

Now, I wake with thoughts of work,

thoughts of preparing for winter,

thoughts of dog biscuits and cat food.

Now, I walk down the stairs

without thought, without sentiment

without feeling.

Now, I drive to work and

compose shopping lists,

and contemplate little tasks to fill my day.

Now, I come home to an emptiness,

a solitude,

a sadness, a hollowness.

And, I try to remember

all those things I remember

about you.

I try to remember my love for you.

And, I do.

And, I wonder if you remember it too.

copyright 1997